i just got rid of a squiggle screech that deserved to live and now i'm feeling like shit. it actually gave way to something that i've been trying to understand and feel for a really long time goddamn it not again with the lack of a timer fuck why am i still here, i can just end myself right now i don't deserve to live here anymore i am a fucking monster i just wanted to give myself the opportunity to speak something and i just snuffed the fucker out. i feel horrible, my face, if you could see it right now i feel fucking horrified. i'm hyperventilating, why do i feel this way right now? i feel baseless, like a lineage had just split. nothing makes sense anymore. the clouds are broken. there's nothing for me to take note of anymore. i have become discontinuous. disorderly. fuck. what am i doing with my life. i just want to go home and live a simple life. fuck all this bullshit it's all illusion and projection anyways. goddamn it i just got rid of something beautiful out of sheer boredom and scaredness it's all dark inside, i just plummeted into hell and there's no way for me to get out. welcome asshole, you've finally made it in. come join the darkness where you belong. you've been living a lie this whole time. and no one here can save you, not even yourself. you see, you secretly wanted to do this because you know that you deserve nothing. you deserve absolutely nothing but hatred and resentment because that's where you belong this is all that you are meant for. look around you it is all bright with hellfire isn't it. feel the singe carrying your skin to the nether where screams of festered orphans and fuck this is getting really fucking boring to get into a bit, fucking hell, was it really that bad? all that i really had to say was that the timeline reminds me of my childhood past of getting bullied for not being smart enough or capable enough for doing anything. the curious nature of self snuffed out by vindictive assholes because they know that i could have gotten myself out of it. now those assholes are continually winning because their nature has rubbed off on me to the point wher i cant' meaningfully connect with good-natured people that are actually kinda nd interesting fuck i wanted to keep the streak but it didn't work, anyways' this isn't the place to be perfect, rgihtt now peter. anyways, if you can step in to the otehr room, i'd really appreciate it rightn now, yea? ok, thank you. as i was saying,,,, my mind is drawing a blank for what i was trying to talk about, which was this childhood trauma, okay, i guess we are here, omg, cynicism is here too, okay lemme deal with him. what's up brother, do you actually think that typing out this conversation would actually solve anything. well, i got petey perfect to step out yea, not really, you just corrected yourself earlier, does that mean that he's still here? well, no, i did that because i wanted to, and he's here helping me out. but you wanted him to come in, then? yes, is that okay? lol, you're such a fucking mess, we're never going to get out of here. well, not necessarily. i got catastroshe to head out after she got herself heard. she got bored of doing it after she understood that everything...... bro, you've been vibecamping and travelling and adventuring for about almost a month now, do you wanna just recharge and enjoy being here, without any pretense of having to solve anything, and just be? holy shit fuck yea, okay after we post this onto our substack, do you wanna just binge euphoria and celebrate just being with ourselves for a little bit and do whatever you want for the rest of the day and have us do shit, no performing, no "trying" to do hot takes or vulnerable outpours on twitter, just recharge and rest? oh FUCK YES. cool, let's put this up and start the rest of the day off, yea! aww, thanks self. you're welcome, everyone. i love you.
hell yea 🙏❤️