hmm, i feel thoroughly caffeinated and i need to set a timer gimme one sec ok cool, it's 1:11 pm and i'm feeling okay?? a little scared that i spent an hour here already and i haven't made an effort to publicly show people to myself that i am negotiating with my petey perfect / well you cant get rid of me that easy / kay yea i get that but i wanna really ask you first how do you feel?
{DIALOGUE EDITED FOR CLARITY}
PETE: like i can swing a bunch of things and be the critical bastard that i am
RUSS: glad to hear that you're well rested
PETE: yea, i feel this weird energy to just hack and slash everything
RUSS: haha you go brother, okay do you mind if i really have a conversation with you
PETE: yea, just lemme do some swinging while you're talking to me
RUSS: okay yea, but i want your full attention because i think this is really important
PETE: alright, i'll put the katana down. alright whats up
RUSS: i see you still fidgeting but i can excuse that
PETE: hey attention hoe, mind stepping into the other room for a sec? if we're going to have a conversation, i want it to be between me and self, is that cool?
( ͡❛ ‿‿ ͡❛): omg thank you for noticing me *blush* of course
PETE: love ya boo, i'll smash ya later
( ͡❛ ‿‿ ͡❛): *sighs* aw fuck yea
SELF: okay self here, i want to talk to you about the dynamic that we have right now and the role that you serve within us, i know that you feel great when you slay enemies of imperfection. this is your forte, and you've done a really great job in doing that, but at this point, i'm starting to see that you're beginning to swing at ghosts because you've been so tired
PETER: ok what exactly do you mean by "ghosts"?
SELF: okay, remember when i needed you the most and i set up all those monsters for you to fight? all the bullies and crazy stuff that spurred us on to act and make things right? turns out a lot of those things were enemies that i created unconsciously.
PETER: okay, what do you mean unconsciously? i saw guts and blood and everything, i dont think those were ghosts...
SELF: alright, i can understand how confused you are, i'm trying to understand what had happened myself, so i will be a bit imprecise with my language here if it's alright with you
PETER: okay, thanks for the heads up
SELF: okay it's things like this. i am lacking precision with the things that i do and due to my sheer will and manifestation, i brought us spectral demons that were unwittingly of my own creation, and i think those have been the monsters that you've been fighting and gaining a bunch of strength from. they were threatening and scary, no doubt about that, but they really meant no harm.
you see, there was a war a long time ago, a short one, but it felt like a war. something that we were totally unprepared for. i was attacked and gravely hurt. i thought that the only way for me to not get hurt again was by hiring you.
PETER: okay, im confused, how did this war start?
SELF: i was doing my normal creative self, making things and manifesting my creative energies, but someone installed a shadow agent of doubt into our camps. see "doubt" is a really fucked up dude that had maliciously been hiding inside here and energizing these spectral demons. he's the "real monster", or at least one of the main monsters that had been plaguing these lands.
PETER: i see, so this doubt character that someone sent here had hurt you, so you hired me to make sure that monsters like him wouldn't attack you again?
SELF: yea, that is the most accurate picture i can give you right now. i can't tell you where he is, because he still pops up here and there, and has been a part that i have been trying to bring into our camp as an ally, but it has been tough to contact him. i know that he has good intentions though, i wouldn't keep him for this long if i knew that he would be able to be of use for us here.
PETER: okay, so i'm starting to lose what my purpose is here and why we're having this conversation. can you remind me what this is about?
SELF: so, you've been overtrained and overleveled with monsters that are of my own creation. and i will continue to create some monsters just unknowingly. what i would like you to do, if you have the ability, is to ignore them. for they are not here to cause pain.
PETER: okay this is going to be a tough call because i can't really tell the difference between monsters, i just swing.
SELF: great, so i actually can't tell you what the difference is. what i am going to bestow upon you is a necklace, with a special ability. these monsters of my creation have a uniquely defining feature that bears my resemblance. right now, you're only trained to see monsters in everything. but, what this necklace will allow you to do is to give you enough space and time to see that these monsters aren't actually monsters after all.
they're just beings like you and me, struggling to find life and beauty. i find it interesting that you have a malleable judgment of character. i've seen it with the way that you flinched during our conversation yesterday. so, i thought that you wearing this trusty necklace would make it a bit easier for you to spot the beings between the monsters.
PETER: wow, thanks. this feels like a special task. i've never had my mission change. so different. the responsibility feels weighted. a little uncomfortable, but this gives me a new sense of strength. like, i get to be deliberate with my skills, rather than blindly swinging at things.
you know, one of my biggest doubts(!) has been knowing whether or not the things that i have swung were actually just like us. sometimes i heard their cries of grief as i killed them. they haunt my dreams at times. i heard a few of them as i slumbered yesterday. but today it seems as if this onyx shelled medallion is a sign that i am fighting on their behalf. an opportunity for them to live on with the folx that i decide to keep alive. i am as much their protector as i am the vanquisher of monsters.
SELF: yea, the shells are actually made of their ash. i hope you don't mind, but i hope this serves as a reminder for the responsibility you hold as one of my greatest warriors. wear it with grace and humility. it is yours and yours alone.
PETER: i don't know what to say except,,,, thank you. thank you. i love you.
SELF: you served me well in keeping us all alive, peter. continue to serve us with this new power. you now have enough space and time to see where to strike. and i trust that you will know who is of us. who knows, maybe you won't even need to pick up the blade anymore. but i know that you are a stout soldier. so you have a new mission, if you choose to accept it.
PETER: i do. i take this directive with honor. thank you for having this talk with me, i feel... prepared.
SELF: and if you feel any doubts, feel free to let me know. we can face him, together.
